Missing Your Child...And Your Past

It's been eight days since that first tiny, yet natural, "fracturing" of our family took place. My wife, youngest son Ben and I drove the 40+ miles south to Fredericksburg, Virginia, to move our oldest son Josh into his freshman dorm at the University of Mary Washington. We know this needs to happen, that this should happen, and we're truly excited for Josh -- but that doesn't make the "letting go" of our firstborn any easier.

For our part, we all cried when we said goodbye -- I freely admit that, because I'm that guy, the one who pretty much wears his emotions on his sleeve. For Josh's part, I'm pretty sure he'll miss his mother, brother and I, but I know his excitement to begin not just his freshman year in school, but to start practicing with UMW's lacrosse team (whose recruitment he pursued vigilantly) likely exceeds any family-related emotions he might have right now.

And you know, that's okay...that's part of growing up and going to college, at least from my personal experience, and I am so excited for Josh that he is experiencing that kind of anticipation right now. I remember being in his shoes in the summer of 1984, and hardly being able to wait out summer to get started on my own freshman year at Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania. The mid-to-late 1980s of my undergraduate years at Ship were four of the most exhilarating, exciting and fulfilling years of my entire life so far. Yes, some folks use the same adjectives to describe married life, and to describe life after our kids come along, but those college undergrad years? Well, that's a special kind of magic right there. College is a place and a time where one makes some of the best memories and some of the best friends of a lifetime.

And actually, I find that a week after my oldest son has gone on to start his freshman year at college, that I'm almost...envious. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to go back and re-live those four years at all -- nor to repeat the years that have passed since. I'm not a guy who lives with regret, and I'm not about to start now. But the experience of living somewhere new, in a microcosmic (and somewhat shielded) environment where you're solely responsible for the choices you make regarding your schoolwork, meals, laundry, social life and -- to a certain extent -- your bills and fiscal situation, is incomparable.

It's a growing experience that you don't want to trade for the world. And I'm so glad that Josh is living it right now, and that Ben will get that same opportunity in two years. I love my sons as much as I do my good wife. I do (and I will) miss my kids when they're both off at college -- and I can't help live vicariously (just a bit) through their experiences, and to miss my own -- but I can't wait for them to experience the singularly enriching experience of living on your own for the first time. There's nothing in the world quite like that feeling...

Mourning At Work

Feeling just a little sad today -- it is the final day in the office for two co-workers who I've worked with on various projects over the past several years. They have chosen to move on for better or more lucrative opportunities, and they deserve nothing but success wherever they land, because they have proven themselves to be shrewdly talented and dogged pursuers of progress in each of their positions. I've grown to not only appreciate their professional prowess, but also their sharp wit and the fun times that we shared over the years.

And that's where the sadness comes in -- perhaps it's just me getting old, but I get pretty nostalgic about departures at work, especially when it's someone within our immediate work team of about 40 people. Like it or not, we spend as much time (sometimes more) with our co-workers each day, than we do with our own families -- which is a necessary reality and not always conscious choice. So when a co-worker leaves (especially skilled ones like these two folks), it truly does leave a void behind -- a void that, unfortunately, won't necessarily be back-filled in today's fiscal environment.

Then there's the inevitable questions that arise during this time -- they're moving on, am I doing the right thing by staying put? Am I becoming stagnant in my career? Have I made the right choices in my professional life? It seems there are never concrete answers to those questions, especially when you need them. But I think it's natural that they occur at times like these.

So. as my departing co-workers empty their cubes and plot their journeys into hopefully greener pastures, I'll just sit here, sip on my coffee, and indulge myself by mourning their "moving-on." At least a little bit.

Star Trek Into Darkness -- WOW. And again, just...WOW.

I was quite fortunate on two counts this afternoon -- not only did I get to catch a matinee showing (in 3D!) of Star Trek Into Darkness, but I was able to see it with my teenage sons, with whom I rarely get to enjoy a movie with anymore.

I will likely have more to say about Star Trek Into Darkness (STID) as time goes on, but right now I need to let the experience sink in. And boy, was it ever an experience...and I mean that in the best possible way. I am a life-long Star Trek fan, of every one of the TV and theatrical incarnations, to include J.J. Abrams' "re-imagined" timeline, starting with this movie's 2009 predecessor and continuing herein.

I suspect much will be said and written with regard to the subject matter choice of this movie. My personal feeling is this:  I'm glad the writers "went there," and got this particular story out of their systems. I won't provide any further spoilers here -- but I think STID strikes a nice balance between the continuing development of relationships among this young crew (which is, I might add, expertly and perfectly cast), while paying homage to that which has come before -- despite the proviso that events from the 2009 movie have irrevocably changed the Star Trek timeline for all involved, in ways that we (nor the writers) can't yet imagine.

A lot has also been written already about Benedict Cumberbatch's turn as the STID villain in this latest installment -- and for good reason. As good as the advance word of mouth has been on this guy, he's even better than that. Cumberbatch is believably scary-good -- calculating, manipulative, cunningly suave, and willing to justify any means to his end. Not all the antagonists in STID are drawn in such stark shades of black and white, however -- and this is where the Star Trek purists (who insist/demand that the future is the utopia imagined in the original TV series) and I disagree. People are people -- good, evil, and everything in between. And it will never matter how much of a utopian society we're able to build -- there will always be an element of inherent evil (or for you true Trek nerds, a "Section 31") ready to tear down or re-interpret what others have worked so hard to build for good.

For what it's worth, STID has the most breathtaking and amazing special effects I've ever seen in any movie in my lifetime. The attention to detail is astonishing -- for example, after an altercation between the U.S.S. Enterprise and another starship, there is a (arguably dangerous) debris field simply floating in space between the two vessels, as there likely would be in a weightless environment. Why didn't anyone else think of that simple detail before?

This newly designed Enterprise continues to grow on me...and starships are critical for me to be immersed in all of this, because they are my favorite part of the entire Star Trek universe. What seemed to me to be at first a ship haphazardly designed by adult fan boys in the 2009 movie, who were inspired by several years' worth of 1970s-era Hot Rod magazines, is starting to make optical sense to me now. The Enterprise is beautifully and lovingly shot from many angles (by both the camera and opposing weapons) in STID. Perhaps even more logically, we get to see ship interiors and spaces that fit and flow together and actually help you believe, for example, that you're seeing the engineering deck of the Enterprise, and not just a sprawling brewery factory doubling as such.

I read several glowing reviews of the post-production 3D effect layered onto this movie, which affected my decision to spring for the 3D showing, BUT -- I won't be paying the premium price for 3D again, unless it's a film that was filmed that way from the start. It's cool technology, yes, and I admit that I ducked once or twice when a piece of "debris" came "flying" at me from the screen, but honestly, I wouldn't say it added that much to the overall experience. (In truth, the 3D trailer for the new Superman epic, Man of Steel, was more exciting than the entire STID movie in 3D.)

So, bottom line -- I do strongly recommend that you see STID in a theater, in 2D or 3D. The cast is impeccably awesome, the story's pretty darn good, and the special effects are the absolute best I've seen in any theatrical space opera in the past 30 years. I'll go ahead and give it a 4 stars out of 5 on Mike's Perfectly Meaningless Movie Rating Scale.

Local Used Book Store Closed, Victim of eBooks

Book Rack to Close for Good Saturday - Kingstowne-Rose Hill, VA Patch

This is what happens when you don't blog regularly, and routinely seek out local news. The Book Rack was a book store that sold second-hand paperbacks and hardbacks in a nearby shopping plaza, that closed at the end of Feburary 2013 -- a victim of all of the iPads and Android tablets that showed up under Christmas trees at the end of 2012. That's not unexpected, but the store closing is sad for our family -- my wife and I, as well as our two sons dug through many stacks of used books over the years there. RIP, Book Rack -- and perhaps, books in general.

Springfield Town Center -- Not A "Reston Town Center"

The nearby transformation of the former Springfield Mall into Springfield Town Center (STC) is discussed and highlighted in this brief but very informative video. I thought all along that the STC redevelopment would be a series of redesigned "blocks" comprising a network of sidewalks, streets and plazas interconnecting among the existing anchor stores and newer, smaller retail tenants (not unlike Reston Town Center). I know that STC was pitched with this type of layout a number of years ago. STC will remain an enclosed mall, but with many upgrades, and a much more "open" feel, at least judging by what the video shows. Personally, I can't wait for STC's new multiplex theater and expanded food court to open and take the pressure off of Kingstowne Town Center, which has become nearly unnavigable on weekend evenings in recent months.

Jack Diamond Exits MIX 107.3...Apparently, for Good

In a surprise move, WRQX-FM booted ultra-popular morning drive host Jack Diamond from their daily lineup a couple weeks ago, and replaced him with "The Bert Show," syndicated from Atlanta. Twenty plus years ago when my wife and I first married and commuted into Alexandria city together from our Kingstowne home, we listened to Jack and Bert on the drive, who were a pretty successful team back then. Jack has taken on several co-hosts over the years, and (in my opinion) hasn't been quite as much fun to listen to, but that's more likely due to me preferring straight news/talk radio to gossipy shock jocks on my morning commute. Godspeed, Jack Diamond...

And So ENDED The Great Basement Den Renovation (Like 10 Months Ago)

Yes, it's a sad state of affairs when you check into your blog stats and realize that A) it's been one year and a day since you last posted, and B) that you last posted about basement renovations. I mean, seriously...yawn. Anyway, for the one or two folks who might accidentally stumble across this blog and potentially tear their hair out over the renovation "cliffhanger" I posted a year ago, this picture's just for you.

And So BEGINS The Great Basement Den Renovation

The basement den is the final room to be remodeled in the home we've lived in for 10 years. Here's the before state, with that horrid, dirty neutral white walls and the detestable "rose" carpet that came with our home. Additional pics will be added as we progress, with the new "Monroe Bisque" (that's fancy-pants for "tan") paint to be finished tomorrow, of the new berber carpeting being installed next week, and of the new IKEA entertainment center arriving next weekend. Here we go...

Too Much Positive Reinforcement Produces Negative Results

So, I was just reading about a local church whose education director chooses to "honor" those Sunday school students who have perfect attendance for a given quarter at each of that church's Sunday services at the end of the quarter. Any student who has perfect attendance for any or all quarters is "honored" in June with a special "banana (wait for it...) sunday" celebration. When did Sunday school attendance become such a contest, so needlessly complicated with the unneeded emphasis on rewards? I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I think the "positive-reinforcement crowd" is getting as large and as annoying as the "politically correct" crowd. This Wall Street Journal article from two years ago is still pretty valid today with its discussion of the "trophy kids" entering the workforce.

Android Through the Years: One User's Perspective

From Cupcake To Ice Cream Sandwich: My Android Journey - AndroidPIT

Interesting look-back at one user's journey with every flavor of the Android mobile OS since the start...

Weggy's Is On The Way...And So Is The Traffic

Construction Begins on Wegmans Site -
Kingstowne, VA Patch

Will it be nice having a Wegman's nearby? Heck, yeah. Do I want it to be situated within a one mile radius of my home, on a narrow, two-way road that's routinely traffic-choked now with the extra personnel going to and coming from Fort Belvoir because of BRAC? Hell-to-the-NO, or at least not yet.


The lot excavation has indeed begun for the Weggy's at the Telegraph/Beulah intersection, and so, too, has the tree clearing on either side of Telegraph Road leading up to that intersection to (presumably) widen the road from two to four lanes. Don't get me wrong -- Wegman's is an awesome grocery store and it will be great to have one so conveniently located close by, but each store in the Washington, D.C. area draws tremendous crowds from each of the four points of the compass. The Woodbridge Wegman's, located about a 1/2 mile off of I-95 just a bit further south of our area and currently the closest store to us, causes traffic backups ONTO I-95 on a regular basis.

For once, could the designers and county and state officials NOT put the cart before the horse, and think about making the road improvements before new development starts?? The six-mile commute to my job at Fort Belvoir has grown from an average of 20 minutes one-way, to about 30-35 minutes because of too-late road improvements and an explosion of BRAC-related building on the Fort Belvoir reservation. With the Telegraph Road widening project over the next two years and Wegman's going up concurrently, I can see that one-way commute stretching to 45-50 minutes. One-way. To go SIX MILES to work.

Franconia District's Most Dangerous Intersections

Franconia District's Most Dangerous Intersections - Rose Hill, VA Patch

Yep, the intersections highlighted in this article are probably the worst in the area, but I think Kingstowne Boulevard / Kingstowne Village Parkway intersection also needs to be added to that list after the events of this past weekend...

If You Value Your Life, WAIT for The Traffic Light To Turn At This Kingstowne Intersection

Police Release Name of Woman Killed in Crash - Kingstowne, VA Patch

I have often remarked to others riding with me in the car, when waiting to turn onto Kingstowne Village Parkway from Kingstowne Boulevard as depicted at the intersection pictured at left, that somebody was going to get killed one of these days trying to do so. If you're in the left turning lane, you are almost perfectly lined up with the left turning lane coming from the opposite direction on Kingstowne Boulebard, and (if you're attempting the turn) therefore unable to see cars that are continuing straight through the intersection until it's almost too late. And it was, unfortunately, too late for this poor woman this past weekend. Hit the link, see what's left of the car that was hit, and then vow NOT to take any future chances at this risky intersection.

Ah, Facebook, How Do I Hate Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

Out of all of the pages and sites out there on the internet dedicated to sliming, vilifying, or otherwise denigrating Bragbook, THIS is the page that reigns champion over them all. It is a must-read -- I'm still leaking tears from laughing so hard...

"...THY WILL Be Done, On Earth As It Is In Heaven."

I subscribe to a couple email-based prayer chains, one for a church that I used to attend a decade ago, another for one I currently attend. I am amazed at the sheer volume of prayer requests that some folks put forth some days, prompting me to ask myself, "am I not praying about every little trouble in my life enough?"

Even more interesting is the quality of the prayer requests -- more specifically, the mundanity and/or inanity of them. Now, please forgive me, I do not mean to sound like I am mocking, because there are folks on these lists who have legitimate prayer need and have nowhere else to go -- and I admittedly often sound like an idiot when I put my petitions to God into words. And God most certainly makes it clear in His Word that we are to bring all of our concerns, large and small, to Him -- to "pray without ceasing."

However, I'm left to wonder it in anyone's best interest (except perhaps the earthly church's) to pray for perfect weather and a good turnout for a church fundraiser? How about asking your fellow believers to pray that one of your scheduled appointments is kept at the appointed time, or to ask for "travel mercies" on your behalf? Or perhaps the worst, most self-serving prayer request I've ever seen -- a plea submitted to the prayer chain by a well-meaning woman asking for a difficult situation at work to "be decided in her favor." Seriously? Could we have some context so that we know exactly what we're praying for??

I'm a pretty simple guy when it comes to Scripture -- and I tend to take things pretty literally. I know Christ had a fair amount to say about praying in His Name (John 14:12-14, John 16:22-24), however, I nearly always go back to one basic playbook for direction when it comes to prayer -- the all-time best model for prayer there is, the Lord's Prayer. The one line that so many folks skip over, or recite by rote, is "Thy Will be done." But I want you to stop and think about the import of that phrase for a moment -- you are supplicating your wishes, wants and needs to those of God, and asking for yours to match up with His, both in this world and in the next. Or you should be. I should be. We all should be.

That line of the Lord's Prayer sticks out (and often burns) like a red-hot poker whenever I recite the entire passage, either to myself or in church -- it always has for some reason since I accepted Christ as my Savior in my early 20s. It is a critically important line that carries a strong and clear implication in my view -- God's will is paramount to ours, it must always take precedence, and His Will and ours do not always match up. That means that even though we pray for it to be sunny, we have to accept rain as God's will; similarly (and perhaps more difficult), when we pray for the quick and painless recovery of a loved one who is very sick or dying, and God takes that person from us, we are called to accept that as part of God's will, too. As difficult and painful as that, and so many other situations in life are.

God's will is a difficult subject that should be discussed at greather length than what I've only touched on briefly here, however, it's a topic that always pops into my head when I read 80% of the prayer requests from the electronic prayer chain emails. Think long and hard about that line of the Lord's Prayer the next time you're reciting it.

Welcome, 2012

New year...
New attitude...
And not necessarily mine, either.

I Couldn't FAKE A Better Writing Prompt...

During our family vacation to Corolla, North Carolina on that state's Outer Banks several weeks ago, I was chilling in my beach chair next to my wife, on the beach, about midday in the middle of vacation week, when a gentleman who looked to be in his early to mid 50s appeared at the top of the staircase that traverses the beach dune, carrying a beach chair and a duffel bag.

He descended the staircase and crossed the beach to set up his chair a few dozen feet from where we were sitting, setting his gaze on the surf. He set the bag -- filled, as it turned out, with a several longneck bottles of beer and a couple packs of smokes -- next to the chair, popped open a beer, then settled into his chair to watch high tide roll in. And that was pretty much his drill for the next two hours, as he slowly drained his few beers, occasionally chasing those sips with repeated drags on the cigarettes he kept chain-smoking.

I noticed him arrive on the beach like I noticed anyone else who did -- making a mental note, but only casually, adding him to that informal roster of beachgoers set up nearby that I referred back to when I grew bored with crosswords or reading and resorted to people-watching. But I gradually noticed that this guy was just different -- he simply sat and stared at the ocean, slowly drank his beer, and smoked heavily. He didn't talk to, or interact with anyone, nor anyone with him. He didn't seem upset, or sad, or happy, or anything -- he simply stared at the water.

Finally, he put all of his empty beer bottles in his duffel bag, dumped his small tin ashtray into a sealed plastic bag and stowed that, and then from the bottom of his duffel, he pulled a single rose with a small ribbon tied to it, along with an envelope, and set it on the sand on the other side of his chair. He stood, folded up his chair, zipped his duffel bag, and with one quick glance back at the ocean and down again to the envelope, he arose and grabbed his belongings, then turned and ascended the staircase over the dune and left.

My wife and I exchanged glances after he disappeared over the dune. Needless to say, we were intensely curious about who that rose was for, and what the envelope accompanying it contained. But not so curious that we felt the need to invade the privacy of the poor guy who just left those items (or that of the intended recipient) to find out. So we went back to our people-watching, and reading, and crosswords and watched beachgoers around us also closely observing the status of that left-behind envelope and rose throughout the afternoon.

Around 4 p.m., when folks around us began departing the beach, a particularly obnoxious woman from New Jersey (we knew this, because she loudly announced it several times earlier in the week) stopped at the spot where the card and rose lay on the sand near our spot, stooped down and blatantly opened the envelope (containing a card), read the card with raised eyebrows, stuffed the card back in the envelope while looking furtively around her, then shoved it back under the rose, and went lumbering on her way. "Wonder what it said?" I asked my wife.

My assumption was that the card and rose were for someone who would soon be by to pick up the items, but nobody ever showed up. Soon after Ms. New Jersey tore open the envelope to satisfy her own curiosity, my wife and I also packed up to leave the beach for the day. Doing a last-minute search around our site for items to take back to the beach house, I thought to myself, "What the hell?" and then walked over to where the rose and card lay on the beach. I followed Ms. New Jersey's actions and opened the card inside the envelope, no longer able to stand the suspense.

The card was a very simple and nondescript "Thinking of You" themed affair, with a generic spray of flowers painted on the front. The inside of the card had no pre-printed greeting, but did have this message, written in a surprisingly neat cursive script, included: "Celia, I hope you have found what you've been looking for -- I miss you very much and love you even more." And that was it -- no name for whom it was from, and no indication as to whether or not it was the man who left it, or possibly someone else. I also placed the card back in the envelope and put it back under the rose.

I walked back to where my wife stood (she was giving me a particuarly evil eye for opening the envelope) and told her what it said. We both gathered up our load and walked back to the beach house in utter silence, likely mulling over the same questions in each of our minds -- who was Celia? Did she die or was she still alive and simply moved on from the person who wrote the card to her? Was the gentleman who left the card also the one who wrote it? Should we be on the lookout for Celia on the beach? Or was that just wishful thinking?

That's pretty much where this REAL version of the story ends -- the card and flower were missing from the beach when we went back the next day, perhaps victims of theft, or the changing tides, or even Celia herself. The man who left the card and rose never returned to that spot on the beach, at least not during that week that we visited. What is the real story between Celia and, presumably, the mystery man who left her the card and rose?

Godspeed and Good Health, Steve Jobs...

Steve Jobs resigned as Apple's CEO yesterday, although he will remain as the company's Chairman of the Board. My thinking is that Mr. Jobs had to make some critical choices regarding the quality of his remaining days, given that he's struggled with pancreatic cancer for the past several years -- cancer that has very likely taken a turn for the worse. My thoughts and prayers go out to Jobs and his family -- he is truly one of the most gifted technological visionaries of this or any century.

Remembering You'll Soon Be Dead Is the Most Important Tool
to Help Make the Big Choices in Life [Video]:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." ~Steve Jobs

More »

WP Comes 'Round to Profile The Farm!

Where We Live: Hayfield Farm, tucked between the fort and the woods

A nice, light and fluffy slice of writing from our friends at the Washington Post, who seem to come around every 5-10 years to profile The Farm. Comments on the story are humorous, ranging from original owners complaining that they didn't get interviewed (instead of newer settlers on The Farm), and a couple proofreading suggestions. Ahhh, everybody's an editor these days...

I Love My iPad, But...

Stop! It’s A Really Bad Time To Buy A Kindle | TechCrunch

There are studies out there arguing for and against eye strain on backlit screens -- my own experience on my iPad is that while I love to use the form factor for reading, my eyes do indeed get tired after reading the backlit iPad screen for more than a half hour at night.

I think at times that it would be nice to have a dedicated e-reader. I really like my wife's Amazon's Kindle 3 -- that e-ink Pearl display is SO easy on the eyes. She's actually eyeing up Barnes and Noble's Nook as a replacement for her Kindle 3 because she likes the touch screen and slightly smaller form factor of the Nook. Either way, she should probably wait -- and so should you.